Lifeless

Submitted by OXYGEN on 10. October 2010 - 5:09

Hi everyone,
I'd like to think that I have a small amount of people here that are interested (in some way) in the music I create. If anything, I enjoy and invite criticism and feedback because I am constantly growing as an artist. Anyway, I'd like to post a new song I wrote/recorded the other day. It's called 'Lifeless'. Truthfully, I'd really like it for somebody to add to it (drums, guitar maybe?)

anyways, feedback is appreciated. thanks Happy

the song can be downloaded from soundcloud also (320kbps mp3)

http://soundcloud.com/imprints/imprints-lifeless-julies-pain-mix
lifeless

© 2010 imprints/dlbinc

i don't know,

what it is exactly you need.

what am i here for?

by the way,

i will never play the victim for you,

i just want you to know.

i heard you were lost.

i will wait here for you.

we'll live in the past.

i'll be addicted to you.

you know how it goes,

i'll leave the light on for you.

you want me to die?

well, i will die for you.

i believe,

that i was destined for you.

the feather falls down.

all alone,

conversations with the lights all turned low,

i'm beginning to calm down.

you'll do what you want,

it doesn't matter to me.

you're all that i've got,

stay addicted to me.

my time in the cage

you will never be free.

i want you to lie,

will you lie to me?

10. October 2010 - 21:52
#11
weed <3
weed.'s picture
Offline
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts:
Re: Lifeless

HEHE cool

Top
10. October 2010 - 22:30
#12
madbringer
Madbringer's picture
Offline
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts:
Re: Lifeless

Don't worry, the fact that German Killer Dud (Weed if you're not in the know) doesn't like your stuff is probably the best indication that you're onto something good, here.
Myself, i didn't like the vocals. I don't mind the repetition, the keys were really great, but the effects on the vocals were a bit too much. What would be really awesome if you'd drop some quiet synth in the background, it feels kinda empty when you're not singing.

Top
11. October 2010 - 11:15
#13
-C4-ASURAN
Asuran's picture
Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts:
Re: Lifeless

I like the Music but the lyrics need tweaking - somehow not logical ? for want of a better word, but thats just me Happy

I dont think you need drums or anything else. This is good as it is. It can be the 3rd song in the album. Where the first 2 have been blisteringly fast, this could be the song that brings down the mood of the album. Or throws up another prespective.

There is no Good music or Bad music. There is only music that appeal to different people. If Slayer had decided that their music is not "Good" - we wouldnt have the big 4 and they would not have like a million fans.

What i am saying is that you should do WHAT you like. I listend to the other 2 songs u or "Imprints" had uploaded. They are good. Somehow i feel that it could be the soundtrack in a Game already.The next Silent Hill perhaps Happy

So, carry on with what you do, with practise and experiance you will refine your lyrics and sound.

Good luck.

Top
11. October 2010 - 18:43
#14
*ZMB*SEEBZ*
Seebz's picture
Offline
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts:
Re: Lifeless

Add me on msn pls(it's in profile)

Top
11. October 2010 - 19:30
#15
OXYGEN
heavennevaeh's picture
Offline
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts:
Re: Lifeless

thanks asuran! yeah, when i write songs like that they are never very deep Winking

I like alot of different styles, choosing the slow piano song to throw out there probably wasn't the best decision, but w/e. Happy

here is a song I did a bit back, I gravitate toward darker music usually. This was just a crappy demo version that never got finished.
http://soundcloud.com/imprints/imprints-puppets-ephemera-mix

Top